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A No Holds Barred Approach.

Just Stuff To Make You Smile & Say Hell Yeah

The Candy With The Little Hole


A teacher decided one day to see if her class could tell the flavors of Lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red………………..Cherry
Yellow……………Lemon
Green………………Lime
Orange …………..Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None
of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your
mother may sometimes call your father.’

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and
yelled, ‘Oh my God! They’re ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room

Something That Should Be In All The Schools Of America

Generation Y are people born between 1990 and now. Why do we call them Generation Y ? See Above !!!

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be THE Man of Your House.”

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m done eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

The wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”

 

What Starts with F and ends with K

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”

Ms. Brooks had had enough.. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test.. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal:    “What is 3 x 3?”

Harry:    “9.”

Principal:    “What is 6 x 6?”

Harry:    “36.”

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,   “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”

Ms. Brooks says to the principal,   “Let me ask him some questions.”

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”

Ms Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!

Harry replied: “Pockets.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Harry:    “Pants.”

Ms. Brooks: “What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”

Harry:    “Coconut.”

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks:    “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”

Harry: “Shake hands.”

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”

Harry:    “Firetruck.”

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,

“Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong myself…..”


I Hope You Enjoyed These. Have A Great Day


 

March 24, 2011 - Posted by | Blogs

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